Healing from Hurt: Embracing Care Over Fixing

Healing From Hurt: Embracing Care Over Fixing

In the journey of life, we often encounter phases of deep emotional pain. Whether from traumatic events, chronic stress, or emotional upheavals, these experiences can leave profound marks on our psyche. Dr. Arielle Schwartz, an expert in trauma and resilience, offers a perspective that shifts our healing paradigm: "You are not broken, in need of fixing. Rather, you are deeply hurt, in need of care."

This statement challenges the all-too-common mindset that views emotional distress as a flaw within us. When we conceptualise ourselves as broken, we inherently see our pain as a defect that needs correction. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and shame, reinforcing a cycle of self-criticism and further emotional damage. However, Dr. Schwartz's words propose a compassionate alternative.

Understanding that you are hurt invites a completely different approach: one of deep care and nurturing. This perspective suggests that our emotional wounds are not indicators of our insufficiency but are natural human responses to pain and suffering. Recognising this, it becomes clearer that what we need is not a fix but a compassionate embrace of our pain.

When we approach our emotional wounds with care:

1. **Self-Compassion Flourishes**: By nurturing our pain, we allow ourselves to practice self-compassion. This fosters an inner kindness that supports healing and resilience, rather than perpetuating cycles of self-blame.

2. **Safe Spaces for Healing**: Embracing our hurt encourages us to seek and create safe environments. This might include therapy, supportive relationships, or personal mindfulness practices. These spaces allow us to express and process our pain without judgment.

3. **Authentic Growth**: Viewing our wounds through a lens of care enables genuine personal growth. We move past merely "getting over" our pain to truly understanding our experiences with compassion. This leads to deeper self-awareness and emotional strength.

4. **Collective Empathy**: By adopting a care-centric approach for ourselves, we naturally extend this compassion to others. Understanding that those around us are also deeply hurt fosters a community grounded in empathy and mutual support.

In conclusion, the beauty of Dr. Schwartz’s perspective lies in its gentle reminder that we are inherently whole, though we might be carrying heavy burdens. Our path to healing isn't about repairing a flaw but nurturing our wounds and the wounded parts of us, with the care and kindness they deserve. By doing so, we honor our humanity and set forth on a journey toward holistic well-being.

So, dear reader, as you navigate your emotional landscape, remember: you are not broken! Your pain is valid, and your desire for care is a step toward genuine healing. Embrace it with the compassion!

By Linda Sunderland 

MA (Hons) psych, MSc Psych, PGDip CBT, GMBPSsS

Accredited EMDR and CBT therapist